POOP FOR PEACE!

My great friend Brooke knows me more than most people... it is evident in the email she recently sent me. She thought I'd like a special event that is happening on April 18th. It is "Poop for Peace" day! I am excited about this! I'm going to be training and preparing for the glorious day. Taco Bell and Hormell Chili will be the main substances consumed this day by myself. The stinkier and the louder the better! Join in with me in celebrating and working toward our freedoms and peace!

http://www.poopreport.com/peace

I know I'm weird, but...

Well, it's a funny thing that I do... A long time ago I used to send little thoughts while I sat on the toilet. Lately Travis started them back up. We have officially termed them "Pooisms" And they are our thoughts sent via text messages to those who have the sence of humor to have potty talk. Well, to give you an example of a Pooism, here is one that I wrote not too long ago:

As is sit and think of the glorious day... The beast is being exhumed from my bowels, yes, the same beast that left his stench through burlington coat factory yea... The same beast that putrified the air in Travis' car. Low and behold the beast of my bowels are now laying in the hommage plate to the porcelain gods. Farewell my putrescent friend, I will miss thy stench making abilities... Until next time, fare the well good sir!

Or another one that I sent today was:

Sometimes when the inevitable is coming there are warning signs... Some washing machines will beep as the different parts of the cycle is completed... Other things might include a spike in the economy hints at a recession to follow, the look on someone's face after you have insulted someone dear to them could hint at a fist sammich coming to a face near you...

Today I realized a new warning technique that my body does every now and then. As the morning hiatus comes near, I have been getting warning gas. It is kinda like the timers on a bomb from the movies... It starts off slow, beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... And as it nears, it starts coming faster and faster beep..beep..beep..beep.. Then as the big #2 is coming it goes on red alert! BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP then you know it is a matter of seconds before you have to get to the facilities or have a mess on your hands. As the timer starts ticking down, the warning signs get more and more intense in frequency and smell. And you can usually tell how much time someone has even if they have just walked in the room.

The smell warning is for the benefit of those around the person, though it seems otherwise. It may seem that their body is trying to punish you for being their friend, quite the opposite, their body is telling you, friend, if you want to stay my friend and keep clean in the process the you best give me room and show me to "stinky town"! So, when a friend comes in with a awful smell that could only be produced by something of an evil nature, do what their body is begging you, show them to the toilet.

This has been another POOISM brought to you by Skittles.

Skittles... Taste the Rainbow.

There have been others... and there will be a lot more to come!

Love, Peace, squirt a little smell for the odor of the beast!